Headache, oh headache

It was actually not a big surprise knowing that tension headaches are the most common type of primary headache. It is said that as many as 90% of adults have had or will have tension headaches. Tension headaches are more common among women than men.
That’s what the doctor told me a while ago after a special session I had at the clinic with a neurologist. I felt like a hopeless patient when she did a through check to all my nerve function. I honestly feel like saying, ‘No doc, I am actually ok, please don’t treat me like a patient”. But I know she has to do her job.
Knowing that its my fourth day having this headache, she asked like do you feel tension at your neck? Did you vomiting? Do you experience any high blood pressure before? Do you feel any numbness around your cheek? Do you feel nausea? I feel sorry to her that all the questions she asked was replied by one word, ‘no’, which is good for me and her. From her explanation, she told me that there are so many people suffer from headaches, and because treatment is sometimes difficult, there is a new classification system that allows health care practitioners to understand a specific diagnosis more completely to provide better and more effective treatment regimens. Nowadays they classified headaches into primary headaches, Secondary and cranial neuralgia which then including facial pain and other headaches. Secondary headaches are those that are due to an underlying structural problem in the head or neck. There are numerous causes of this type of headache ranging from bleeding in the brain, tumor, or (these are the most horrible ones) meningitis and encephalitis. When she mentioned vocabularies like migraine, blood pressure, nerve imbalance, and tumor… gee I couldn’t imagine how on earth do I ever get those symptom to hit me.
After about 15 minutes in her room, what’s the diagnose? To my surprise she said that I am actually ok. I just need to sleep and wake up at regular times. And, this is the most impossible one, to reduce tension during work hours and some others. I was prescribed three regiments of medicine. She told me to come back three days later if the medicine don’t do any tricks.
Well, I hope that what I really need is a good weekend and relax days. But for the next 4 days to go, I sure have lots to do. Oh headache… if we can ever stand on our own sides without disturbing to each other.

Jakarta, 25 August 2009.

You are for a reason

If you choose the same belief as I do, you will surely understand when I say that its not a coincidence why you are in the present state of life. Then we can come to the next statement that every single thing happens for a reason. And the reasons I mean here is that when we choose to obey then we will find out the reasons unfailing itself for us.
I am proud to say that my life happens for one reason. For sure the reason is to glorify HIM in and through me and to make a difference in others’ life. Just like the hardship and hard edges of Israelites when they were travelling the desert to the promised land, its all to the glory of His name, the ultimate owner of life.
I belief that the best decision I ever made in life is to choose to commit to follow HIM. I follow Him not because I choose to, rather because He called me. Not because I am fulfilling the status He wanted me to, yet due to His grace to me.
A new life essentially begins when you know what are you here for! This is well stated in Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life which I have read three times already and just finished reading for the 4th time just last week. The beginning of real life is the moment when you realize that you are here not for your personal goal, but to obey HIM who put and created you and choose this time to let you live this life now and here. He could have put you to live 5o years back, or 100 years from now. But because He knows who you are and what you are here for, so He choose to put you at this era.
A total change in life actually begins at the moment you realized that you are nothing, and that you are – because HE is.
Isn’t it amazing knowing that you are special? If you ever feel like useless, hopeless, and nuisance to others, believe me that God never counted you so. He chooses you simply because He has planned you for a specific function. Once you realise this, you are starting your own new life; for Him.

Jakarta, mid of August 2009