In my Trembling Times

An old painting painted by a well known artist is picturing a man with three heads seeing at three directions. The first head seeing to the past, the second head seeing the present and the third head looking to the future. The tag above the heads saying that we ought to remember and wisely take a good reflection from the past, see the present in gratitude, and to the future in anticipation that life will not always been so easy.
I am writing this on the last day of 2008, in a short reflection to what has happened, is happening today, and what will happen tomorrow.
For those who know Joshua in the history of Israel, I remember what God said when Joshua was facing his first day alone after Moses died. In his ordinary person He was trembling, scared, left on his own, and facing a huge land to be conquered. Amid all the feelings, he prayed to God and God’s answer was “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
As a lay man, I am a person with abundant of lackings. If others scared of the future then I am even more scared. If my friends are trembling about the world’s crisis, then I am feeling the same. If my pals are doing false and far from perfect, then I have the same false and far beyond perfection. In my human nature I am not more than anyone else that no one will look at me. Just like Joshua, knowing not the tomorrows, I am hopeless as him. He to face tens of wars, conquering dozens of barbarian lands, and lead the stubborn nation of Israel to the promised land. I believe that in his very self, Joshua must be as coward as anyone else. If God promised then who can stop HIM from keeping HIS promises?
Friends, I had a short time to only shared with you that no matter what will happen tomorrow, I know for sure that God never fails to keep HIS promise. HIS strong and firm hands will be always be holding my hands wherever I step.

You were counted twice.

Dear friends,

There’s been ups and downs. Sadness and happiness. Bright and rainy days. Quiet and merry times. I have learnt so many new things and passed so abundantly bad times.

Sometimes I feel left alone. At another time I was so happy beyond compare. I do believe that you must have felt the same through the year.

Through this unique occasion, allow me to thank you for all that we have been through for the past days and months. I have been so blessed just to know and being one of your friends. When I look back at how I have been so blessed, then I count you twice as my blessings.

I have no better words to say but to humbly thank you for all that you have done to me, and I wish you all the best for the days to come in 2009.

“Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.”

-- Phillips Brooks

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2008 & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

Alexander Mutak and family

Jakarta, 24 December 2008

A Song of Apology

Feels like the sky to fall down on me.

Where shall I hide from Your presence, O Almighty.
Like a child I try to hide;
Like a loner I try to be alone;
Like a prisoner I leave myself locked in a dark and empty room;
Yet anywhere I see, I found Your face.

Now I am naked before You. I have nothing but shame.
How would this poor creature enter Your Holy presence without his filthy life;
How could I see Your shine without closing my face with my very dirty fingers.

I shout for the freedom from this agony and shame. But the freedom has no answer.
I screamed to my pillow cursing myself at nights. Though I know those all will never be enough to allow myself coming to You; You are too holy to be approached.

I am too small, even a shame to You, O my Creator. O You, the Saviour of my soul, You seemed too far away from me today. Will I ever come to You without Your hands reaching onto me?

Look at me, but don't look straight, peep my heart. Its filled with uselessness; I have lost all my pride. Have mercy on me! Have mercy on me!

I came to You now, with my shaky knees, covered with my shameful look.
I am calling to You, O my Shelter, to hide me behind Your rock.
Forgive me and let me sit still. I just want to feel You. I know I never deserve a good place at Your home. If I cannot come to your place, I beg You to allow me to just look at it for a while; then that shall be more than sufficient for me.

I shall lay my life and trust into You; grant me enough strength to stand always on your track. Now and forever, let this always be my songs, in rememberance of my weaknesses.

To You, God, I sing this song of Apology.

Future is Not Decided by Fortunetellers

If He has led a stubborn nation out of Egypt to the Promised Land successfully, then He shall lead your path jubilantly to the eternity.

There are at least more than a dozen of ads in our TV today offering us a future look at our fate, business, love forecast and things like that. Unfortunately, a recent article in a daily newspaper said that this there are hundred of thousand of people are ‘eating’ the baits. What worry us is not the quantity , but more to the senders of those messages. It is said that most of those who consume the baits are young people. I prefer to say that this is a more structured form of occult practice.
We live in a culture where people are desperate to know their future, and they’ll turn to psychics and mediums for answers—a practice expressly forbidden in the Scriptures. It is the negative said effect of our instant and materialistic post-modern product. In the era where self freedom and human rights is highly honored, that none can stop someone to ‘worship’ whoever she/he wanted to choose. It’s actually a silly declining and de-motivating to our younger generation. And it leads them into a situation where there will be no sole truth to believe in, nor ultimate right to accommodate their true soul hunger.
Its not far different with today’s condition, the ancient Israelites were desperate to know their future. They turned into humanly gods and choose to refer their hunger of future to the limited even man-made statue. God knew that they would be tempted to consult ungodly sources for answers. So God warned them to stay away from mediums and those who contact the dead. God knew that these practices would prevent ancient Israel from being a holy, set-apart people who would be a blessing to all nations. The future for Israel was determined by their faithfulness to God’s covenant, not the words of soothsayers and psychics. Reliance on these evil practices indicated a failure to trust the Lord with their lives.
In today’s culture, it’s the person in the ads who offer all kinds of ‘services’ from the prediction of your love life, the forecast of your business, to the simply ‘whom will you be marry’ in the near future. This kind of short and narrow minded practices has resulting in a short and instant believe as well as people’s relationship to their religion. I wonder how are you seeing this in your life. Once you trusted any human based
When you are desperate for information about your future, please don’t turn human based medium. They are just human, like you and I. They have every limitations and must be unreliable to trust as they have the brain capacity just as yours and mine. But do turn to the sovereign God of heaven. He is the owner as well as the planner of the past, the present and the future. He holds every authority to every detail of your future. Turn to HIM, the only One who holds the ultimate answers you are looking for.
Friends, if He is capable rule the universe, then He must be more than capable to rule your life to the eternity. Trust God, not evil!
Do ask me if you are in doubt of anything to do with this article. Its the work of a great faith mentor. I only adapt it into our today's format.

Forrest Gump and Blessings

There are events and or incidents that left us a special marks and will always remind us on something.
Forrest Gump, this oscar and many award winning movie has left its special mark in my heart after the first time I saw it at lest 14 years ago. A dump, yet innocent and hard to blame young man, run his life just go by the flow. In his journey, he finds moments when he is misunderstood, misused, even incidentally become a hero or winner.
Not far different with him, there are things in my days that make it sometimes difficult to understand. Some things that would make you happy so that you cannot stop from telling it to other. Some are incidents that make you weep, like loosing things or people you love, or tragic moments that left an inavoidance stretch in your heart.
This movie we are talking about tells us usual things that happen to a very lay and ordinary person like you and I. The happenings that come and go, letting us to hold back that indeed, like it is said to Mr. Gump; life's a like a box full of chocolates, Forrest, you never know what you'll get.

Who have his own power to change the course of his own life? Even prophets don't.
But I am blessed because I know someone who knows what will happen to me, to you, and to this misterious world. I am at peace when I realise how blessed I am. Wouldn't you?

What takes your breath away?

'Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that takes your breath away.'

Friends, how do you defined life you’ve been living so far? Trust me, there are thousands of opinions you’ll say after all that you been through. Everyone has encounter rough edges in their lives, not to mention mounting of fails, agony, anger, and those bitter moments. But, please be honest to yourself, that there were also nice and breath taking moments we passed when all our minds and soul is covered in gratitude and owe at the greatness of the Very Creature of the universe.

I had this happened to me one day. On my way to work every morning I am privilege to pass by a wealthy compound. One day when I drove to work, while passing through my favorite parts of the road at an elite housing compound, its always very clean, almost quite, green grass are on the both sides. The beautiful trees are well planted on the left side while on the right side lined up nice pots of red flowery Bougainvillea. That morning I was tempted to to just stop by. My intention was to walked out of the car and sit on the well maintained grass under one of the trees, take a deep breath and feel the freshness of man made greenery. Its so calm, fresh and peaceful, that you cannot believe you are somewhere in Jakarta. I could imagine that when I look up to each leaves of the trees, I always have good reason to thank God at how much He has done through those leaves and trees. Ahh, what a blessing.

Moments like the above, are moments I called moments that takes your breaths away. The breathtaking moments I had before were when I was still a boy, visiting a waterfall site located at a hill, three hours walk from my village. I have seen the waterfall every Sunday morning when I stand at the front of our church. I stare at the hill and say my wish that I would see the waterfall someday.

It happened when I was about 10 years old. I went there with my school mates on our school holiday trip to a hill with deep rain forest of Kalimantan.

After a long and tiring steep roads, we came to the nearby area of the waterfall. It was still 500 meters away, but we can really feel and hear the roar of the falling water. Its so magic that caused you to goose bumps. As we came to the foot of the falling water, I stood up right at the edge of the falling point. I looked up, and my eyes was filled with owe. With my mouth opened, the feeling is like you are standing at the parking area of a 50 floor building. Due to its tall, you can easily see the peak, and at the same time you feel like the tower is fall down to you. That’s when I sight and enjoyed a real breathtaking moment to say, “God, you are awesome creating such beauty beyond human’s compare.”

Then, many other moments that takes my breath happened as I travel abroad. To this moment, when I see what I have been through, life is too precious to be left alone.

Another and awaited moment according to me is not the other surprises that will come and greet you here. Its the moment when you are changed from your life today to the eternal life. No one had experienced this, so no body knows how would it be like. It will be a very personal moment, when you face it alone, experience it on your own, and till then you'll only praise the owner of your life because that's the time when you really see Him, face to face.

Have your breathtaking moments while you still can, and tell it to others, then count them as blessings..

Being Firm

Belief
"You cannot avoid birds from flying above your head, but you can prevent them from making nest on your head". This is one of many wise words that I usually remember whenever something comes to let me off the track on my belief.
To be honest, the above statement is quite right when it comes to the influence and ideas that might change your mind. I was asked by an interviewer one day about my opinion on many new beliefs. I said that I have came to my basic and standard belief that in the case of faith and belief, the basic point is in the Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide, and Sola Gracia. It is to put my base of having this faith in me, without any other isms that will replace it. Has all the 'new' beliefs inluence many people? Yes, but they cannot changed mine on what I have faith in.

Relativism
One thing that I think we need to consider is tha post-modern ideas about relativisms. In their worldview, every human is given the human rights, which is defined as anyone's rights to say and do things as they wish. When it comes to beliefs, I don't think that relativism is applicable. God was, is and will always be one, and that His judgment is intollerant with whatever you or I do. So, when we measure anyone's belief by the standard of human rights, then no belief is absolut for the world. Whe God says that He is a right judge, meaning that He is a right judgement Himself. When He said that only through Him we can afford an eternal living, meaning no other gods is having the same power to do so.

Post-modern needed to be redefined
So, relativism as post-modern 'product of knowledge' has to be redefined. And its 'my right' to say that I am firm to whom I belief, because I know whom I believe in. My doubt is that someone who says that god is all the same is having problem with his/her faith. Meaning he/she doesn't really know what he/she knows.

A Difference Maker

I was inspired my Maxwell's book I read lately with the title stated above. He argues that just attitude will not be enought to make you survive. What needed most is not only the right attitude, yet the attitude itself is the product of your life's history. The attitude is marked in you as the result of anything that formed you in your past. Its an interesting book to read. A much more lighter then many books written by the same author about leadership. One comment: in some parts I found at least 10 parts where the translation is not quite clear and kind of messy. I do hope that in the second edition some editing will be needed to the book.

Take this interesting point. Ten percent of your daily life is influenced by how you react on something that happen (external factors) to you, and 90 percent is determined by your attitude to handle it (internal). Take for example: in a traffic condition; you know that you cannot change it but the most important is how do you behave whenever you are trapped in such situation. Will you keep on blow the horn, will you grumbling at yourself, will you get mad at the other people who caused the traffic jam, or will you sit still and enjoy the moment and think of something more important that the traffic?

The choice is yours. Will you like the 10% external factor to ruin your day or allow your 90% part to control yourself?

You needed Me

When we see all the wonders we have now in our modern life, its hard to imagine than during 16th century people begin their sea journey juts depending on the ‘never ending’ ocean. But that’s how the first sailor decided to take his very voyage.
Just like Fernando de Magelhaes, then known as Ferdinand Magellan sailed to the west from Spain in 1519. His only hope was that he would find spice resources for the country who sponsored his sailing. This Portugal born sailor off to the blue sea with the intention of reaching the Spice Islands by sailing west around South America. With much hardship he succeeded in reaching and then sailing across the Pacific Ocean, a vast ocean where in months all that you can see is blue ocean.
The history noted that after about two years sailing, he was killed while trying to subdue the natives on what is now the island of Mactan in the Philippines. Almost a year later, with still more hardships, one of his original five ships, Victoria, eventually made it back to Spain. Though Magellan didn't complete the entire voyage circling the globe by the ocean, as the expedition leader he is usually credited with being the first man to circle the globe.

Our life’s journey. If we could view our live as a journey, then the journey must have a goal. We can’t go out just as we feel like going. In our modern life we are obliged to run our live for a goal. Unless a clear goal we will end up stop at a place we never knew.

We seek for some answer of what life is. I have a friend who spent his entire life searching for who he is. For many years he was wondering around the journey of his life seeking for an ultimate answer. After a long time he stops at a faith (religion) in which he thinks that’s the end of his journey. Most of the time the answers we were looking for seemed leading us to nowhere.

We tend to maximize our brain capacity. Then what we do? We tend to stretch ourselves thinly to nourish our lacks. Then what we found is a road leading us to a place where we thought we have found it.

Its not you who look for HIM. But, do you really know that no matter how hard you try to ‘find’ Him, He reminds unveiled? Until He revealed Himself to you then you can really found by Him.

He comes to you. The point is not that you look for Him and find Him. Its actually He chooses you and separate you to be His tools.

The only uniqueness of Him is not that he sits there and wait for your offerings. He came down to be one of you, cried, tired, hungry, betrayed, yet stays holy.

The song below might represent the feeling of a lost self. When we went on despair, its not us who look for HIM, but He reveals HIMself so that we could see HIM there.


I cried a tear, You wiped it dry
I was confused, You cleared my mind
I sold my soul, You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed Me.

Chorus :
You gave me strength
To stand alone again, To face the world
Out on my own again, You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity

You needed me,
You needed me

And I can't believe it's you
I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool, 'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares
You held my hand, When it was cold
When I was lost, You took me home
You gave me hope, When I was at the end
And turned my lies, Back into truth again
You even called me friend

Jakarta, April 2008